Rule of the Mind #6 - Your mind always does what it thinks you want it to do
Our mind is our greatest ally, our most faithful servant. And although it has the best of intentions, it can also be a massive pain in the ass.
Our subconscious mind is working diligently behind the scenes to please us. It’s giving us what it thinks we want without any idea that this might be making us sick, unhappy, addicted, anxious, depressed, and likely perpetuating some crappy feedback loop rooted in an old, outdated belief from our childhood.
Let me share an example of this. In my early 20’s I worked as a pharmaceutical sales rep, what I thought was the holy grail of sales jobs. Good money, amazing perks (think trips to Mexico, Fort Lauderdale, and Paris), and really fun people. One of my very best friends today is thanks to that job. I exceled in this position and from an outside observer it would appear that I would rise to the top and retire 30+ years later with a fat pension, enjoying the toys and vacation properties I acquired during my career (spoiler alert…didn’t happen, don’t have any).
My conscious mind was clearly telling me I “should” be happy in my job. So, I plastered a smile on my face and dragged my bag of samples into doctors’ offices pushing the latest anti-depressant (the irony of that is not lost on me). Then the day would come when I had to work with my boss. At least 50% of the time I would wake up on the work-with day feeling like death was imminent. I mean, super sick. Not just sniffles and sneezes but like someone filled my sinuses with wet cement and torched my throat with flaming stick of fire. I would phone my boss and he knew from the sound of my voice that this was serious. He never questioned me. I would crawl back into bed and then by some divine miracle would feel just dandy by the next day.
What was happening here? My subconscious mind KNEW I was dreading working with my boss. It was all over the fact that I felt like a complete imposter in this job. That the thought of having someone observe me in my own version of “death of sales person” made me want to crawl out of my skin.So, what did it do? It was my faithful servant of course. It did exactly what it thought I wanted. If it had a voice it would say “Look at me! Didn’t I do good? I created a way for you not to have to work with your boss. I gave you exactly what you wanted.” Can’t argue with that.
If only I knew then what I know now. I would have observed this physical reaction and dug deeper into the meaning behind it and looked for the root cause. I probably would have discovered that I was in this job because I wanted to please my dad. I watched him go to work with his fancy suit and briefcase every day and desperately wanted to be just like him. I ignored what my mind was trying to tell me and soldiered on long past the expiration date of this job.
Now I make sure I’m crystal clear with what I want, and I tell my mind often what that is. I want connection, I want to make a difference, I want to laugh, I want to take care of my body, I want to feel joy. Those are just a few of the things I tell my mind on the daily. What are you telling your mind that you want? What is it that you would like your greatest ally, your most faithful servant, to do for you today?
Sometimes even figuring out what we want can be challenging. That #simplenotsimple question “what do you want” is often the place my clients get stuck. It’s also the perfect place to start our work together. If you’re in this place or feeling like you are telling your mind a load of garbage and don’t know how to stop that loop, let’s chat. You can book a FREE consult call with me here.