Rule of the Mind #12 - The strongest force in all of us is that we must act in a way that consistently matches our thinking.

This rule of the mind is not screwing around with namby-pamby words. It says the strongest force in every one of us is for us to act how we think. Let that sink in for a moment, the strongest force. Our very nature works desperately to pull us towards doing the thing that our mind tells us to do. This can feel free and natural when we are in flow, this can feel stagnant and stuck when we aren’t quite in sync, and it can feel like we are pushing through a tsunami when we are fighting that force. 

Let’s break these down.

When our actions match our thinking and it feels authentic. In this scenario, our thinking is connected to our true self, and we find ourselves acting in a way that feels loving, honest, and real.  Here’s some examples of what this might look like:

· We are thinking “I feel so lucky to have such a supportive husband” and our action might be to thank him or kiss him or…

· We are thinking “I really don’t want to go to that party” and our action is to graciously decline the invitation.

· We are thinking “I work hard and deserve respect, but my boss is being such a jerk” and our action is to have a difficult, honest conversation.

It’s important to remember that when our thoughts and actions are coming from our true, authentic self it doesn’t always feel like sunshine and butterflies. Sometimes it’s hard to act from that place, but we know we are there when our body doesn’t fight us back. There is a sense of ease and the more we practice this, we get acquainted with what that deep sense of knowing feels like. 

When our actions match our thinking and it feels like crap. In this scenario, our shitty thinking is resulting in shitty actions. This can be confusing as you might be feeling that sense of ease I described above because that force of nature is doing it’s job. Unfortunately, you are also deeply unhappy, feeling totally stuck and likely numbing out with food, alcohol, tv, shopping, Netflix, or all of the above. Let’s see if any of these resonate:

· We are thinking “I can never save money” and our action is to buy…all…of the things.

· We are thinking “My mom said I’ll always struggle with weight” and our action is to try every diet ever invented, and they never (ever) work.

· We are thinking “I’ll never find love” and our action is to stay home every night and every weekend watching tv and scrolling Instagram.

When we are in this place, there are two schools of thought to free yourself.  You can either change the action and hope the thought follows or my favourite is to change the thought and watch the action follow. Either way, you can lean on the knowing that the “force” has got your back. Once you can shift that thought (and if you don’t know how to do this…call me 😊), you will feel the pull towards the action you desire. If you are in this place, I want to encourage you to be gentle with yourself and to offer love and compassion as you get curious about the shitty thoughts behind the shitty behaviour.

When our actions don’t match our thinking and it feels like we are fighting a tsunami.  Every day feels like a struggle in this scenario. It’s like we have an internal battle going on 24/7. We are thinking one thing and doing another. Sometimes the thoughts aren’t even clear in our conscious mind, we just find ourselves in situations that are making us miserable. 

· We are thinking “I hate my job so much” and we drive to work every day.

· We are thinking “I love the sun and warmth and the water” and we live in a dark, rainy, dreary place and never go on holidays.

· We are thinking “My husband makes me feel stupid, inferior, and never enough” and we lay in bed next to him every night.

· We are thinking “I adore pizza” and we never allow ourselves to even have a bite.

In this case the thoughts are truth and often the action that the “force” is drawing us to, scares the living shit out of us. When I see clients in this place, I know they are ready for change. They have been going toe to toe with that bloody tsunami and they are done. As in the last scenario, the first step is to always offer love and compassion. I do this for clients and encourage (and sometimes teach) them to do this for themselves. Through curiosity and enquiry, some actions are changed very quickly. It is sometimes simply a case of seeing how there has been a disconnect between the thinking and the behaviour and once we see this in the light, the body responds beautifully. With ease. Other times, we need to take things a little more slowly. Eventually we get there, and we know when we’re there.

We feel in flow, we feel free.