Rule of the Mind #11 - You make your beliefs then your beliefs make you.
Beliefs are no joke. They are responsible for who we are and how we show up in the world. It’s not our parents, our friends, or our appearance, talents, or skills; not what happened to us, it’s not even our religion or faith that is responsible for who we are.
Think of a belief as the first domino. Once formed, it taps down on feelings, which then taps down on thoughts, and then finally the action domino is triggered. It’s the driving force behind our morals, values, and attitudes. Pretty bloody powerful, right? But here’s the thing.
Beliefs don’t need one stinking speck of proof!
They are simply assumptions we make about ourselves, others, and our world. We believe them, often without question. When our actions are generous, brave, and loving we likely experienced an initial domino of belief that might have sounded like “there is enough for everyone”, “you will be OK, it’s worth it!” and “you are lovable.” Now, do you have proof that these beliefs are true? Like, empirical evidence, courtroom kind of proof? Probably not. But do these beliefs drive emotions, thoughts and behaviours that serve you? Likely, yes. And because of this powerful rule of the mind that you make your beliefs and then your beliefs make you, you are a generous, brave, and loving human. (ps. Thank you for that, we need more of you in our world.)
However, as I’m sure you have deduced, if that initial domino is a crappy belief, it can come crashing down painfully on our feelings, thoughts, and actions. Also remembering that this nasty domino is not based on one speck of proof. It is likely an ASSumption that was made when we were just a kid. I realize I sound like a bit of a broken record in this department, but I’m going to reset that needle on the vinyl as many times as I need to until we all get it. Until we all take the time to reflect, investigate and assess our beliefs from childhood. Dog with bone here.
A helpful way to begin this deep dive of enquiry is to reverse engineer. Look at an action or behaviour you no longer want in your life and then get curious about the thoughts that drive that action. Now, tap into the emotions you feel when you think those thoughts. And finally, when you are steeped like a tea bag in the emotions that come up for you, begin to reflect on how this might feel familiar to you. What core beliefs from childhood might be driving this thread of emotion, thoughts, and behaviours? Of course, it isn’t always from childhood. It may be from an experience as an adult as well. The process remains the same.
So now that you have uncovered the real story behind your belief, what do you do? You simply choose a belief that is in line with who you want to be (note: this should feel delicious). You make your beliefs then your beliefs make you. Beliefs are a personal choice, not a mandate from our family of origin or society.
If you feel stuck in this journey of discovery and creating new empowering beliefs, let me help you. Book a FREE 20 minute consult with me.
Stay tuned to my IG and FB pages where I share a personal story of how my crappy belief caused over 20 years of chronic pain, illness, and treatments costing 10’s of thousands of dollars.
KI-xo