Rule of the Mind #13 - Every thought you think causes a physical reaction and an emotional response.

By understanding this rule of the mind fully and doing the deep work of RTT I was able to free myself from a physical reaction that was profoundly embarrassing and often verged on debilitating. 

As a young teenager I would blush in all the usual circumstances; public speaking, talking to boys, and of course breast exams and pap smears (ugh, the worst!). It made me a little uncomfortable, but I didn’t make a big deal of it (ie: I didn’t connect a crappy thought to blushing) so there wasn’t much of an emotional response and the flush would subside.

At around 15 things got much worse. For the next three decades I would struggle with severe flushing. Breaking out in full hives on my neck and chest and then for added fun red blotchy patches would weirdly appear on my upper arms and burn like holy hell. To the touch my skin was a zillion degrees, so I dreaded anyone hugging me or touching my arms.

Sometimes it wouldn’t feel so intense, and I thought I could dial the redness back with a few deep breaths. But then, I would get a comment like “why are you so red?” or “are you ok?? Your neck is all blotchy.” This was like pouring gasoline on a fire. Literally. When this happened there was no going back as the blushing took on a whole new shade of tomato. I would usually sneak off to the bathroom and desperately try to cool things down as I pressed cold water all over my face and body and try not to cry. 

Now, before I continue with this Rule of the Mind (I promise, I’m getting to it!) I would like to offer a PSA in service of all my fellow flushers. If you notice that someone’s face is a little red, or they have blotches on their neck… for the love of all that is good in the world, please IGNORE IT. This isn’t like pointing out parsley in the teeth (which is totally appreciated), we are acutely aware when our face is in full flush. In fact, we are aware the second it starts and if you play it cool with your flushy friend and ignore the first signs you can actually help the situation. Without fuel, the fire will eventually fade away. PSA over.

I had resigned myself to the fact that I would have to live with this my entire life. Thankfully it did get a little better as I got older. Likely in large part to me not giving quite as much of a shit what people thought about me. Still, the thought that it “could” happen would cause me to shy away from public speaking or being visible in my business (social media, etc). Social anxiety began to creep in as well and I found myself getting stressed out even before a simple dinner party. Anticipating what “could” happen.

I decided to address this issue during a practice RTT session when I was in training. I was completely blown away by what my fellow student therapist helped me uncover in my subconscious mind. Discovering nasty thoughts and beliefs rooted in past events that were clearly still wreaking havoc in my mind and causing this physical reaction (flushing) and the emotional response (shame, embarrassment, guilt). Even though I was taught this rule of the mind I don’t think I truly understood its power until I did the deeper work and saw it in action. 

After the session and listening to the recording for 21 days, I noticed something else that was very cool. Not only was the issue of flushing so much better but I was also feeling marked relief from chronic gastrointestinal issues I have had most of my life. Interestingly, from about the same time as the flushing came on. I know, shocking! (insert eyeroll emoji). This was such a gift as I don’t believe I would have ever sought out help from a therapist for the flushing as it wasn’t that bad anymore. I just thought it would be good to use for training purposes. Imagine my surprise when I learned that the GI issues I had were a response to the same crappy thoughts and beliefs that caused the flushing. This is the domino effect that can happen when you get right to the root.

Besides flushing and GI issues, here are a few other common physical reactions to negative thoughts and beliefs; headaches, nervous tics, neck and/or back pain, sweating, nail biting, and teeth grinding to name a few. If you experience any of these it’s a good idea to begin to get curious about them. Take a few moments to notice if there are emotional responses that come up when you experience these physical symptoms. Emotions like guilt, shame, anger, or resentment. Grab a journal and jot down what you are feeling emotionally and physically. Over time you may see a pattern. You may also be able to recognize what thoughts preceded the physical reaction and emotional response. As always, this is where the freedom lies. Digging into that crappy thought, understanding the truth behind it (hint: it’s always a lie) and allowing yourself to release it along with the physical pain and negative emotional response. As in my case, this wasn’t something I could easily recognize. The thoughts and beliefs that caused my flushing and GI issues were deeply rooted in my subconscious. So deep that even with over two decades of work in personal growth, coaching, and therapy I wasn’t able to free myself. Until now. 

Finally, I would be remiss if I didn’t mention that thoughts can also cause wonderful physical reactions like butterflies in the stomach, lightness in the body, big toothy grins, dancing, singing, and laughing. With an emotional response that might feel like love, gratitude, compassion, empathy, acceptance, safety, fulfillment, joy, confidence, worthy…FREE.

As always, I’m here for you. If you are experiencing a pattern of negative physical reactions or emotional responses and unable to link back to the root belief or thought with your conscious mind, I can help. Book a free consult call.