From Cave to Clarity: A Year of Self-Discovery, Tools, and Transformation
A few years back I did a writing course with Martha Beck and Elizabeth Gilbert, and we had an interesting assignment. Martha asked us to reflect on challenging times we have had throughout our lives and to imagine as we find ourselves on the other side of those challenges it’s like we are walking out from the darkness of a cave into the light. As we emerge from the dark, we see someone walking into the cave who is experiencing many of these same challenges and our assignment was to write about what we would share with this person.
This exercise keeps popping into my mind as I reflect on this past year. It truly felt like a journey into a cave—a deep, dark cave where the light seemed hard to reach. A place where I was forced to face some of the most difficult, vulnerable parts of myself. And yet, it’s been in that cave that I’ve discovered a deeper understanding of who I am, rediscovered my power, and ultimately found a way to step back into the light.
It’s not easy to admit, but I’ve spent much of this year battling menopausal symptoms and hormonal shifts (due to thyroid cancer from many years ago) that have shaken me to my core—anxiety, depression, weight gain, brain fog, and sleepless nights became my daily companions, creating a perfect storm of physical, mental, and emotional overwhelm. At times, it felt like I was being swept along by something much bigger than me, something I couldn’t control. But there was one thing that helped me weather the storm—reconnecting with the tools I’ve used throughout my life for healing and growth (oh, and HRT from my amazing naturopath Dr.Lisa Ghent but that’s a post for another day).
Returning to the Tools
In the midst of all the chaos, I turned inward. I went back to what I knew worked for me—tools I had once relied on, but which I had somehow set aside during this challenging time. One of the most powerful tools I used during this period was EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques), or tapping.
If you’ve never heard of EFT, it’s a form of emotional healing that combines elements of acupressure and modern psychology. Essentially, it involves tapping on specific meridian points on the body while focusing on emotional or physical issues. It’s based on the premise that tapping these points can help release blockages in our energy system, restoring balance and clearing emotional and physical distress.
For me, tapping was a lifeline. During the darkest moments, when my mind was overwhelmed with fear and negativity, tapping helped me re-center and calm the storm inside. It allowed me to process the emotions I had been suppressing and gave me a tool to release the stress and anxiety that was physically manifesting in my body. Every time I felt like I couldn’t breathe, or my mind was spiraling, I would take a moment to tap through the points, focusing on whatever I was feeling, and I would feel a shift—a gentle easing of the tension.
It wasn’t a cure-all, but it was a tool, and I remembered how powerful it was when used consistently. EFT gave me the space to acknowledge what was going on in my body and mind without judgment, and it allowed me to release it, bit by bit. It reminded me that we always have access to tools that can help us regain a sense of calm and clarity, no matter how overwhelming the circumstances.
A Deeper Dive into Human Design
But EFT wasn’t the only tool I turned to this year. I also dove deeper into my study of Human Design—something I had completed my training in but hadn’t really dug deep and experimented with when my life was challenged to this extent. If you’re unfamiliar with Human Design, it’s a system that combines ancient wisdom of astrology, the I Ching, the Kabbalah, and the chakra system with the modern science of quantum physics and astronomy to create a personalized map of your unique energy blueprint. It’s a tool for understanding your true nature, your strengths, your challenges, and the best ways for you to interact with the world around you.
For me, Human Design provided a sense of clarity that I hadn’t experienced before. It helped me strip away the layers of conditioning I had accumulated over my life—things like the expectations of family, past experiences, and the cultural narratives that I had internalized. All of these things had created a story of who I was supposed to be, rather than who I actually am.
As a 5/1 Emotional Generator, I’ve learned some incredibly valuable insights about how I operate energetically, and how to make decisions that feel aligned with my true self. For years, I believed that I was supposed to make quick, gut-based decisions, following my immediate impulses. I often prided myself on my ability to make snap decisions, thinking this was the best way to move through life.
But now, with the lens of my Human Design, I understand that as an Emotional Generator, I actually need to give myself time to process my emotions before making important decisions. This means that, instead of rushing to a conclusion or forcing myself into quick action, I must check in with how I feel over time—waiting for emotional clarity before taking the next step. My energy moves in cycles, and it’s only when I allow myself to feel things out, to ride those emotional waves, that I can make choices that are truly aligned with my inner truth.
It was a hard shift to make, and it’s taken time to honour this process. But the more I’ve embraced it, the more I’ve seen the positive effects on my life. Decisions feel less rushed and more grounded. I no longer feel pressured to react immediately or make choices based on external expectations. And that sense of ease has made all the difference in managing the overwhelm that has come with both menopause and life in general.
How Human Design Can Help
If you’ve ever felt a little lost or like you’re not living as your truest self, Human Design can be incredibly helpful. It’s like a roadmap to understanding who you really are, beyond the labels and the conditioning. Instead of spending years trying to fit into a mold that doesn’t feel right, Human Design shows you how to align with your natural energy patterns, making life feel less like a struggle and more like a flow.
Understanding your Human Design allows you to stop comparing yourself to others and start honoring your unique path. It’s about discovering how you’re designed to make decisions, how to interact with others in a way that feels good to you, and how to work with your energy rather than against it. When you know how to work with your inherent strengths, life becomes more expansive and less exhausting.
Moving Forward
As I reflect on this year, I realize it hasn’t been a year of “easy” transformation. It’s been a year of tough growth—facing uncomfortable truths about myself, learning to navigate physical and emotional challenges, and relearning the power of the tools I have at my disposal. But despite the hardships, I can see now that it’s also been a year of healing and discovery.
The cave I entered wasn’t a place to stay—it was a place to grow, to learn, and to re-emerge stronger and more aligned with my true self.
If you’re in a similar place, feeling like you’ve lost your way or that life is throwing you more challenges than you can handle, I want you to know that you’re not alone. You have the tools inside you, just as I did. Sometimes, it’s about reconnecting with the things that have helped you in the past—whether that’s tapping, meditation, therapy, journaling, working with a life coach, or something else entirely. And sometimes, it’s about diving into new knowledge, like Human Design, that can help you understand who you are at a deeper level.
Remember, this journey is yours to walk. And whether you're in a cave right now or standing on the edge of a new beginning, there’s always an opportunity for growth and transformation.
Your truest self is waiting to be revealed, and there’s nothing more powerful than rediscovering that you already have everything you need to thrive.
If you’re interested in learning more about how Human Design can help you or how to use EFT to release emotional blocks, feel free to reach out! I’d love to share more and support you on your journey. I also have a very sweet deal until Nov.19th where you can save $100 on a Human Design Reading. Get all the details here.