Setting Your Intention for 2023

I am a big believer in setting intentions for the New Year. A process dedicated to assessing where you are at, what you want, and getting clear on the internal shift needed to get you there. I prefer the term “intention” over goal or resolution because the focus is on what is happening inside of you. By setting an intention you are creating a guiding light within that will help you to reach your goals and resolutions. It’s the Lead Domino.

The following process is something I have created to set my own New Year's intention. I am sharing this deep dive with you because I want your intention for 2023 to stick. Recently, I asked several people how they came up with their New Years intention and many responded with a blank stare (“it just came to me”) or admitted that they saw it in one of those word sort puzzles. I asked what their intention was for last year and they don’t even remember. Basically, the intention behind setting the intention is good but there’s no sticking power. 

Steps to setting a Sticky Intention for 2023 

(I’ll share a few personal notes from my process beneath each step in Italics to give you an idea of what it looks like, feel free to skip past.)

Step 1: I recommend using a dedicated Intention Journal that you can refer back to year after year. It helps with the following steps and is super handy to have when some nosy person asks what your intention was for last year.

My journal is pretty, and my pen is prettier. Very important. 

Step 2: Find a quiet space, put your phone on ‘do not disturb’, and give yourself about a half hour to complete this process (some will do it in 10 minutes, some will need an hour). Start with a few moments of deep breathing or you may choose to begin with a meditation practice. Whatever works for you to get into that nice, calm, grounded space.

I made a cup of my favourite tea (and there may have been a FINAL Christmas cookie to accompany it), went up to my office where there are NO DOGS, settled into my cozy chair, and started with taking 3 deep cleansing breaths (in thru my nose, with a long exhale out of my mouth). 

Step 3: Part A - Write down all your wins from 2022. Like, ALL your wins. Nothing is too small or insignificant, it may have just been a step toward a bigger goal or achievement, but a step, nonetheless. Be generous with yourself. Part B - Go back and write down beside each win what it took for you to create this in your life (ie: courage, self love, trust, etc).

• Exercised 6 days/week. (Commitment, consistency, self love, grace)

• Grew my coaching business. (Confidence, belief in self, faith in my process, gratitude, love for my clients)

• Created more intimate friendships. (Vulnerability, trust, love)

• Set boundaries with family and friends. (Commitment, detachment from feeling responsible, courage, self love)…note: this is a work in progress and an example of a step toward what I want to achieve. 

• Being more chill, relaxed and joyful with my pups. (Patience, knowledge, love)

Step 4: Part A - Write down all your “areas of improvement” for 2022. Please be generous with yourself here as well. Remember that this is a list for your eyes only (unless you’re me, writing a blog about it.) and this is the opportunity to dive into the spaces and places you desire more and maybe require more (perhaps more of yourself). Part B - Go back and write down beside each area of improvement what it might take from within to create a positive shift in that part of your life.

• Resentment for being the “manager” in my family and carrying the lion's share of both the visible and the invisible workload. I know I’m not alone here! It's the invisible workload that is the most pervasive and in great need of attention in our society. This is the mental load that women and especially mothers and wives in heterosexual relationships carry the burden for. For me it looks like neverending lists in my head of what needs to be done, researching, planning, scheduling, delegating, making decisions (ugh, this one!), and anticipating the needs of everyone else. And the super fun part is 80% of this happens at night while my husband sleeps soundly beside me. (Boundaries, courage, love, patience, strength, honest communication) ***If this resonates with you, stay tuned for my next blog-ish post. It’s time for us to release this antiquated burden from women and create meaningful change for us and for our partners.

• Dealing with disappointment. I get very excited about things and when stuff gets changed or cancelled, I’m sometimes irrationally disappointed. (Compassion, forgiveness, release expectations, self love)

• Sleep…the thinking, the worrying, the planning, the lists. See above “mental load.” (Self care practice, trust in the universe)

• Same old same old every day. (Adventure, take risks, say YES, be bold, gratitude)

Step 5: List all the words/statements you wrote beside the Wins in Step 3.

• Commitment, consistency, self love, grace, confidence, belief in self, faith in my process, gratitude, love for my clients, vulnerability, trust, love, commitment, detachment from feeling responsible, courage, self love, patience, knowledge, love.

Take a moment now to acknowledge yourself by placing your hands on your heart and say, “I showed up in 2022 with…” and list all your yummy words. I want you to let this sink in, repeat as many times as necessary until you really feel the significance of this past year. YOU created positive change in your life because you showed up in a powerful way. Now simply notice how this exercise made you feel. Were there any words or phrases that stood out more than others? Just notice.

As I read back my words, I felt warm, open, and grounded. Love and detachment from feeling responsible really stood out for me.

Step 6: List all the words/statements you wrote beside your areas of improvement in Step 4.

• Boundaries, courage, love, patience, strength, honest communication, compassion, forgiveness, release expectations, self love, self care, trust in the universe, adventure, take risks, say YES, be bold, gratitude.

As in Step 5, I want you to repeat these words/phrases back to yourself, this time starting with “I will show up in 2023 with…” and list everything you wrote down beside your areas of improvement. Repeat this process at least two more times and again, simply notice how you feel and if any words or phrases stand out. 

Reading this list of how I’ll show up, I feel light, free, and kind of excited. The words that stood out for me were boundaries and be bold.

Step 7: Now it’s time to Set Your Intention for 2023! I want you to bring a “soft focus” to the words listed in Steps 5 and 6 as you ask yourself that powerful, often elusive, question “What do I want?”. Allow the word(s) to spring off the page. Maybe it’s more of how you showed up in 2022 that is resonating, especially if it's an area that you have taken steps toward your goal but still have a few more to go. Or perhaps you are feeling drawn to the shift within required for change in areas that could use improvement in your life. And finally, your Intention might not be any words or phrases listed above. This process is designed to grease the wheels of your mind, to inspire and release your focus for the New Year. To choose an intention that is powerful, meaningful, and very very sticky.

My intention for 2023 is to Detach and Fly.