Rule of the Mind #2 - The mind cannot hold conflicting beliefs or thoughts. They cancel out each other.

In psychology, Cognitive Dissonance is the mental stress or discomfort experienced by an individual who holds two or more contradictory beliefs, ideas, or values at the same time. Common signs of this mental stress would be:

• Feeling uncomfortable before doing something or making a decision

• Justify or rationalize decisions or actions

• Hiding your actions

• Guilt or regret about the past

• Doing something due to social pressure

Clients often come to me because they are frustrated that they aren’t able to reach the goals they have set for themselves, or they can’t change areas of their life that are keeping them stuck. Holding conflicting beliefs or thoughts around goals or areas to change will cancel each other out and leave the client experiencing one or more of the above signs of mental stress.  

A simple example would be if you think “I want to lose weight” and then you look in the freezer and see the Ben & Jerry’s Salted Caramel and say “I love eating ice cream.” Your mind can’t hold both of these thoughts and it will usually lean to the one that’s familiar. You eat the ice cream and then you may rationalize your action (your boss made you feel like crap today), or maybe you hide the tub in the bottom of the garbage can (guilt, shame, guilt). As we dig deeper through coaching and RTT we may discover that an early memory of feeling loved and special was when your dad took you (without your sister and brother) to Dairy Queen.  

Other examples would be; “I want deeper relationships” and “If people knew the real me, they wouldn’t like me.” Or “I want financial freedom” and “Earning more money isn’t possible.” The key here is finding that limiting thought or belief sitting in your subconscious mind and then dissolving it leaving you free to reach your goal or change the area of your life that is causing you suffering.

Tip: it’s never about the Ice Cream. xo